Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
By Karl Augustine
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find
themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to
further indecision and frustration. When making serious divorce decisions, having an open mind and listing the
things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
The things to consider when deciding about divorce varies somewhat from person to person, but here is a list of
the most common items to contemplate:
Divorce Decision Item 1: Making sure that you are emotionally ready to go through with a decision.
Not being really ready to decide about whether to get a divorce because of emotional uncertainty will be a
serious obstacle if you let your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic. People often fear making a
tough decision and there are many reasons why people don't ever get around to actually making a divorce decision,
which is often one of the toughest decisions to make in life. If you aren't ready to handle the emotional pain of
what could be a "life changing" event like deciding about divorce, wait until you can before going through your
divorce decision making process.
Divorce Decision Item 2: Making sure that the reasons for divorce that you've listed regarding why you think
you want a divorce are indeed valid.
Too often people make the mistake of wanting to get a divorce (or thinking they want to get a divorce) for
unviable reasons. This comes from being wrapped up with the idea of being hurt and focusing on one's self rather
than separating the actual events from the end results.
Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking and be seemingly autonomous to your own situation...in fact, it
is often impossible to do. But, if you can look at your situation with someone else in your place, and then go
through your divorce decision making process, you'll be closer to the real answer that you want.
Divorce Decision Item 3: Understanding that your sense of self-confidence, ability to be 'self sustaining' with
finances or other material things, and desire to 'start over' are all unwavering.
This mix of considerations about divorce can be overpowering for some people when they try to 'break away' or
make the decision about getting a divorce. Simply, these 'things to think about' intertwine and affect each other
directly. Self-confidence is essential to being able to make a lucid divorce decision, and your level of
self-confidence can easily be changed (for better or worse) instantly. If this is the case, you should really
re-think whether you're ready to make a divorce decision and follow through with it.
A lot of time, women in divorce situations have to deal with finance issues and they fear going out on their own
because they've had financial support previously. Still, the fear of losing finances or material things is not
gender specific by any means...men and women alike need to decide if they are ready to go through financial loss to
improve their lives if they feel a divorce will do so. Logic will lead you to the fact that finances shouldn't be
the only piece of your divorce decision even though it usually figures in...as to what level finances figure into
your divorce decision, will depend on you and what you deem important.
If your overall confidence and desire to start over with your love life support making a change, you're off to a
good start in making a smart decision about whether to divorce or not.
Divorce Decision Item 4: Determining who else your divorce decision will affect and how much weight that
carries in your decision making formula about divorce.
This item to consider when thinking about divorce is one of the primary things that can lead a person to a
decision, one way or another. Even though it can have serious negative repercussions, selfless people will take
into account everyone else who will be affected by a serious change like getting a divorce...it is fundamental
portion of the overall process of making a smart divorce decision. Children, in-laws, common friends, etc., all
will be affected by what you do regarding your action as a result of you truly answering the question, "Should I
Get A Divorce?".
When making your decision about staying married or getting divorced, you should look to the future and decide
whether your decision will improve or decrease your quality of life and the quality of life of those that will be
affected. The number one reason given by people who want to get divorced but don't go through with it, stems from
the fear that others will suffer from the divorce. Be very careful when assessing this situation...make sure that
you use logic and not emotion when evaluating your thoughts.
Making a divorce decision is a serious and difficult task because it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and
frightening due to the length of time it can affect you and others. Make sure that you have your thoughts organized
and prioritized and you take your time in making a decision.
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